Mindful Productivity Podcast

Improviding & Making Life More Livable with Lori Crawford

April 11, 2022 Sarah Steckler, Lori Crawford Episode 188
Mindful Productivity Podcast
Improviding & Making Life More Livable with Lori Crawford
Show Notes Transcript

Today Lori Crawford joins the show and we discuss improviding, making live more livable, and new ways of incorporating mindful presence into your daily life.

Lori Crawford is an embodiment guide currently embodying her first go at motherhood.  She helps people like you, navigate overwhelm so you can access more ease and choice in your day to day lives allowing you to live life reconnected to what and who matters most to you.

What if productivity was less about output and more about supporting your holistic wellbeing?

Follow Lori on Instagram

Listen to the Improviding Life Podcast

Find the full transcript and show notes here

Learn more at MindfulProductivityBlog.com

Support the show

Find more resources over at SarahSteckler.com

Come say hi on Instagram @sarahsteckler

Grab your Free Planner Publishing Guide -->

You are listening to episode 188 of the Mindful Productivity Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Steckler, and I'm so excited this week to bring on one of my favorite people and guests to the show, and that is Lori Crawford. Today we're going to be talking about improviding, what it is and what it means to make life more livable. I think you're really going to enjoy this cozy episode. We talked about so much good stuff and it was really nurturing to hear from Laurie and all of her perspectives on this. So go ahead, get cozy and let's go ahead and jump into today's show. Welcome to the Mindful Productivity Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Steckler, and this is the place to be to live a more mindful and productive life. If you're ready to turn daily chaos into calm and start your days with intention, then get ready to join me as we dive deep into mindful living and personal productivity. It's time to connect with your true self so you can live the life you want to live. And it all starts now. Welcome back to the podcast, friends. Before we get started, in today's episode, I thought I would give Laurie a formal and warm welcome. So Laurie Crawford is an embodiment guide, currently embodying her first go at motherhood. She helps people just like you navigate overwhelmed so you can access more ease and choice in your day to day lives, allowing you to live life reconnected to what and who matters most to you. One question Laurie always asks is what if productivity was less about output and more about supporting your holistic? Wellbeing, Laurie is also the host of the Improvising Life podcast, which I highly recommend checking out and subscribing to. I'm so excited to introduce you to Laurie. So let's go ahead and get started. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I am so excited today to have the lovely and amazing Lori Crawford join us. We're going to be talking about improvising, what it means to make life more livable. And in the spirit of improvising, we're also improvising this episode. So I have a couple of questions stored away to keep my brain on track. But Lori and I are just going to dive into having a really lovely conversation about all of this. So before we jump into all that good stuff, I would love Laurie for you to give us a little intro and tell everyone more about yourself. Hello, everyone. Thank you, Sarah. Okay. I get so excited. I am, in some parts of my day, an embodiment guide and other parts of days. I'm a fairy grant mentor, so I think of myself as a creative wellness and creative writing coach consultant. Whatever word finishes that statement. I'm a new mother and so my brain there. I needed those few breaths because I was like all excited and wanted to squeal and all the things. I also am a self described Sarah groupie. I love all things Sarah. And I really wanted to publicly thank her for her courses, too. So I have two planners that are published. One will be in a few days. And so just being able to actually learn how to create and express myself in ways that feel good is something that I'm really excited about today as I'm finishing up my second planner. And I don't remember what you asked is that I'm like Bella. I relate so much to that because I know and I was just on your podcast, too. And so I had a lot of the same moments. So by the way, we will link to Laurie's podcast in the show as well. I know, right. But I just love all the work that you do so much. And you have this amazing pocket planner that you've created, which we can talk more about. And you're working on your other grant, blow up planner. There's so many amazing things. But before we jump into all of that, I would love to have a conversation around maybe like what improvising is and what that means to you, because I think when I first heard you talk about this term, I was like, something about it sparked a lot of interest in me. And so I'd love for you to be able to kind of define and describe it for everyone. Yes, thank you. And I think my brain and my body was anticipating you'd ask that. So then when I was answering the first thing, which should have been as simple as what's your name? Or say something, my brain is like, did you already ask about that? Do I start there? So that's part of the pause of, like, am I jumping head? Yeah. So improvising literally is a match with the words improvising and providing. And so it's this idea, this practice, this sort of way of being that's, like, life provides us moments to experience. And when we're able to improvise our response to them, we're actually able to start experiencing and processing and relating to life as it's happening. Right. So much of the time we're really taught you and expected to once act like nothing's happening or wait until we sort of get bottled up and then have an understandable meltdown to then realize shit's been happening. So in providing really for me is the mindfulness practice. It's embodiment practice. It's really a way for me to have a relationship between my mind, my body, and my spirit. Right. So for me, it is the way that I am able to live life and not feel like I'm just on autopilot. And this was something that came about through my work with youth. And I was in a six week program about we would record ourselves interacting with youth and then watch back and then use strength based language to see what we were doing. And so my research question was, like, to formalize or not to formalize? Because my boss would always say, you're too informal. You need to be more serious, all this stuff. But actually what I realized, that program, which was outside of work, was actually that my informal process, which now I realized was improvising, was why youth were relating with me, which was why I was having really positive interactions. And relationships were being built in different ways that other staff people weren't able to necessarily cultivate with the same use. And so it was sort of through that process. But I realized, oh, I've already been doing this. This is the way that I naturally approach life. And then being able to use the actual language of applied improv and actually break it down into six tools of improviding allowed me to be more intentional about it because I was able to suddenly put words to an experience I was already having. I love. Thank you so much for this description. And as a huge fan of your podcast, I think I listen to every episode now. I love all the tools that you walk everyone through. And what improvising really means to me is it feels like this lovely invitation into mindfulness in a state of being present, but also this lovely acceptance of the moment we're in. I think there was a recent episode. I can't remember exactly the situation you were walking us through, but you were talking about just how we can want to control, like, all these different moments, but just really coming back to this place of being like, well, not only is what's within the scope of my control, but more so why do I feel the need to change this moment or make this moment different versus exploring the space that I'm currently in and just the way for anyone listening, please go listen to Laurie's podcast after this. I think you'll just feel so comforted. It's like a warm little hug, everything that you talk about. But I think it's really just that mindfulness piece of being present, but also kind of acceptance. And I think that's ultimately what makes life more livable are those moments. And so I guess that's kind of a cool segue into this next topic is within providing what does it mean to make life more livable and accessible for the moment or however you want to freeze it? Yeah. So this is something that I'm going to share for today.

Right now it is 12:

42 P.m. On March 14. One of my definitions of a more livable life is right now, because to me, that's the point is that it is a very fluid relationship with that idea. And so right now, a more livable life. So on our episode together last week, Sarah, you would share that cozy is a core value for you. I was thinking this weekend what's mine and ease is one, and I had to hold space for what was coming up with that because wait, this reminds me of all the time that's what I was lazy or I didn't want to work hard to do all these things. But for me, ease is actually the existence and nourishing of the space to be able to just be right. So for me, ease means there aren't hurdles I'm jumping every day. Ease means that there's room to say yes or no to something and then have plans change or take up opportunities. East to me means that there isn't an immediate fire that I'm having to put out. East to me is literally the ability to say, okay, brain, I know you're working overtime right now. Let's take a break and play for a little bit. And so for me, my most livable life is access to ease. And at other times of my life, more recently, a livable life was the ability to say, you know what? I'm not going to be able to take on this extra project at work right now. I need to set boundaries here. Other times, a more liveable life. I would love to be able to go on vacation, but there's a pandemic for me. I get really excited about the idea that I get to actually have that as a tool to check in with myself in this moment. What's a more liveable life? Sometimes that's Loading the dishwasher, sometimes it's saying, fuck it and not Loading the dishwasher and just knowing I'm going to have to find take out that's gluten free somehow that I can eat later because I won't have clean dishes to eat. And so it's being able to make that choice and have access to choices that I want to make. It really reminds me, too, of all these rules. And I'll share that I noticed myself imposing all these different rules on my day that don't make life livable. Like, for instance, if I walk into the kitchen in between a call or I'm about to take Bella out and I notice like, oh, something is messy. There's this instant pull of you should, right? Like, all these shoulds like, you should stop your joy and do this right where it's like, I love this question of what's really necessary to facilitate, like, your liveable life. Essentially, there's moments where doing those tasks is super important. And then there's also moments where it's like, it's okay that life is messy and chaotic. And so I just love that so much. And ease, like, the way you were describing ease, it's like, kind of reducing the friction, I think too. And I think it can be so easy to focus on all these external things that we don't have control over. But when I heard you just now describing ease, it's like, really focusing on the barriers or the things that we may put in place and how we can kind of just, like, lessen that friction within ourselves or like, the narrative that we're telling ourselves or any of that stuff. I just found that so comforting to hear when you were selecting back. Something came up that I say often to people about, like, we get unhelpful help getting to where we are, whether that's systemic inequities and those barriers, the narratives that we get about how we're supposed to behave or to be our own family structures and systems, we get that unhelpful help. Right. We don't come into the world with narratives of voices saying that we're lazy or that we should be doing all these things right. Like, we get that placed upon us. And so I often am playing with this idea of if we can get unhelpful help, can we also get helpful help? And what does that look like or feel like? And so for me, this idea of having a livable life is both acknowledging and honoring the way that those larger systemic things are impacting us, knowing that it's not on any one person to change it. And that's why so many of us aren't able to take those steps and the things that we could shift or control because we're intentionally made to just see the huge fuckery mountain in that no one person is supposed to be able to shift and then think, oh, well, it's just always going to be. And then also have that room for curiosity, of understanding that there's this mountain. If I'm sort of feeling stuck in this, I think a Crag is a mountain term. I'm not sure. I know that's like geography wise, a Crag is a thing. Or maybe it's pronounced Craig. Who knows? But if we're in this place along the mountain. Right, and there's just like a rough spot ahead and it's just not the time we have energy to traverse that right now, how can we. Yes, in that moment, how can we acknowledge what's coming up and honor what our actual need is to just be in that moment? And so for me, for example, be like, what is the easeful option right now? And that might look like saying, that's cute that you're telling me I have to do this thing today, right now, but I'm not going across that rickety ass bridge, that's missing planks and doing all that like, no, I'm going to just find my cave, hope there's not a mountain lion in it, and just take snoots. That might be for me in that moment, what I need to do. This is the perfect you've set this up so lovely. Because this is one of the other things I wanted to talk about today was yes. Anding and what that means. And all this ties together so nicely. And the way that you have these tools set up, it really takes something. I think it takes something because a lot of this is like a mindset, and it takes it and it creates these tangible foundational tools. And I think that's where I struggle sometimes is. But how do I actually ship this? And so I love that you provide all these tools, but what is yes. And then how can you describe that and how can I help you? One quick note before I go there, I'm so glad you said how do I shift this? Because when I first started my business and the message that came through is that I'm a shit shifter. Yeah, I remember that. I wanted to get back to that language. But if anyone who's ever taken on a project or started business, we often try to make it harder than it is. So I've gotten away from the things that actually felt right. And so this is a great takeaway in that lens of shifting, right for me. So yes, and in itself is the fundamental tool of improv, improvised applied improvisational comedy or literal improv comedy like on a stage I did not create. Yes. And the point is to not think that I did. Right. But usually applied improv is just a 45 minutes professional development setting where you have to go because your boss told you and you're kind of like fuck am I here for? There's some weirdo in front of me. I've been in those situations, I've been facilitated that situation. And so it usually to me misses the Mark of how it's actually a not only transferable skill, but embodied skill and embodied practice. Something that actually to me is like a doorway like out of your mind saying hey, I'll see you later into your body. And so what that looks like then for me, the yes, is that acknowledging part? What is happening? What is the reality at this moment? What is the feeling that I'm feeling? What is the face I wish I could make at my neighbor right now? Like whatever that looks like, right. The end to me is where you're suddenly like putting your shoulders back, taking the breath, there's a posture change, not just physically but emotionally energetically that opens up room for options. Because then is how do I honor what's coming up so often? We're in this mode that I call adelting on autopilot. And it's so understandable, it's a survival mode, it has its own purposes. And also what if that's not the only way we have to be, right? So for me, yes. And is this very easily accessible tool that allows me to notice when I'm in that autopilot and it doesn't feel supportive, right. So like earlier mentioning that mountain that time where I'm going in the cave and taking nap, that's autopilot. And I'm choosing that that's the best option for a livable life. And also autopilot can look like, oh, someone said that I need to do more at work even though I've already said no. And now I'm going to just take on five more projects, work 80 hours this week knowing I'm salary. And I've been in that place too. And that place literally almost killed me. My health was horrid. Yes. And to me, again, it's that. So I mentioned earlier there are six tools of improvising. But if yes and or any of the tools are the only ones that come to you, that is more than enough to be in that moment with yourself and to have that option of access to choices and choices you want to make. And one other thing about you as well is it doesn't mean that you become a yes person where you're like, yes, I'll say yes to everything. And that's something I really want to stress. The idea of not starting with a no is so you're not shutting down your awareness of what's actually happening because what we often do and how we're navigating life as a survival mechanism saying, Nope, nothing wrong. Nothing to you? Oh, no, I'm fine. I don't have anything I really need to address to you. Oh, no, you haven't really hurt me or caused harm by starting with the yes. We're not condoning what's happening. We're allowing ourselves to be aware, to name, to acknowledge it. So then suddenly there's a relationship when we're in this frame of saying no, I'm not able to acknowledge that something's happening and we stay in that point. It's something I call a situation ship, right? It's like, oh, it's happening, but is it not? No. Okay. And sometimes we need those moments, and they're so valid. And also when we're able to shift into being able to yes. And in the moment, we suddenly can have a relationship with it. And to me, that's where it just suddenly not only creates room for the understanding of what accountability really looks like, especially in relationships with others, whether you need to be accountable or someone else needs to be held accountable, but it really, to me, it's just an actual way of being alive. And the feeling of that versus the sort of robotic same shit, different day that can feel so draining. As I was listening to you describe yes ending, I was thinking back to a conversation I had with my counselor a couple of days ago where she was asking me how I was doing. And in typical Sarah fashion, I was trying to give her all the right or correct answers. So I was listing off how great life is going in all these different areas. I was telling her about how I feel better on my antidepressants now. And business is going well, right? Just like listening to all these things, which is not what she asked me. She asked me, like, how I'm feeling. And, you know, I think counseling is not necessarily always like a celebration parade. So she was like, okay, okay. And then at the end of it, because I've been asking her to call me out when I'm doing that kind of stuff, telling her what I think she wants to hear. And she goes, but how do you really feel? She's like, you've just described all these amazing things, and I'm very glad you're grateful for them. But how do you really feel. And you know how counselors are like, I instantly started crying, right? And I was like, okay, well, I'm also feeling this way. And it just reminds me of how powerful it is because I think a lot of times in life we think, well, if everything's going well, if we can tell people that things are okay and we're surviving and breathing, then we aren't allowed to also hold space for the struggles. Right. Or if we think our life is going, quote, unquote, better than someone else, then we don't feel like we have space to acknowledge, like maybe something we're struggling with. And it was this really powerful moment of yes. Anding in myself, like, really realizing that there's space for both. And I think also, too, this can come back to anything. It can come back to business owners, too. You don't have to feel confident before you launch a course or before you record a podcast. You can feel completely insecure and stumble over your words and not do things perfectly or have a messy room, any of those things. And you can still record a video and you can still show up as a human. And how much more powerful and livable is that when you can do both and just hearing you talk about that, it again feels like permission to live your life and be a human. And I love that story. You also shared, too, about working with youth and realizing, oh, when I am more just kind of like authentic and human, I get a stronger connection with these people. I get a stronger response. And I think we're seeing that more and more in corporate culture, too, especially with working from home and stuff like that. But I always remember, too, during my first corporate nine to five, there's a different language you have to speak at work. You have to suppress your humanness. You have to talk a certain way. And I remember always finding that so bizarre and coming home from work, literally wanting to shake everything up, take a shower, be like, what was that? What was this like shell that I put myself in to try to behave in a certain way? Anyway. So that was a bit of a tangent, but I wanted to share that story with you. Yeah, well, thank you for sharing that, too. And I will push back a little and say it's not a tangent because in Lori brain, everything is connected. And I was like, you can't see screens, people. But I was like, inching towards my computer a few times that's my body saying, like, oh, I want to jump in, but I'm reminding myself that I want to hear what Sarah says so I can hold those thoughts. But really, what you're saying, too, about, especially the latter half about the way that we have to mask in other settings, corporate functioning at school with our parents and families at the grocery store, like, all of the different ways. Because that is all different versions of masking. Right? It's masking the actual expressions or behaviors or just state of being. This is that our bodies all have and they all look different and they can all be so wonderful. And how all of that is actually the performative functioning of whiteness and, like, white supremacy functioning. Right. And that is literally what is causing us to adult on autopilot. It systemically is. And so why do we have to have different levels of code switching where I am a white woman? So my expectation of code switching is much less draining than a person of the global majorities. But if I'm in a corporate setting, for example, even at school, I'm supposed to not show my neurodivergence. I'm not supposed to be standing, I'm not supposed to be rocking range. I'm not supposed to be humming along so I can pay attention. I'm not supposed to be doodling. And so there's a way that we're expected to function and perform that shows that we are being complicit complacent. And again, that robotic sort of, I'm helping the system, keeping the system that it is. Right. And so I appreciate you sharing how you share that, because we've all learned. I always think that's a grocery store example, the cashier assisting you will say, might say, how are you doing? My automatic response is always like, Fine in you. And then the components like, I don't even know. There's not even the thought of, okay, which thing am I saying? It's like, mouth opens that comes out. I'm like, okay, are we in the Sims? And someone push day like, what the fucks happening? And so, yes, there's a balance between I don't also need to ask someone that I don't know and won't be with for long to take on emotional labor of solving larger things. But there are moments where, oh yeah, I could also say, you know what? I'm not having the best day. But I appreciate you asking, how does that then give the other person room to yes, and that they might be having a shit ass day. Because, let's be honest, if anyone has ever worked in any sort of interactive with human setting, humans can be really hard. I call this the practice that we all Ping pong or shit back and forth to each other because again, we're all doing our best to just survive, and we're actively told not to know how to process things when they're happening. So for me, improvising is one of those ways that I can be more intentional about how I'm Ping pong shit. And also knowing that the point is to not get to a place where then you're like, oh, I've never had an issue again. And through this, like, challenging whiteness lens, I look at this as the goal for me is to not be able to say, oh, I'm unprovatic, because then I become uncomfortable. I approach every day. How can I be the least problematic as possible? And so last night, so one of our dogs, her allergies flared. It was 70 degrees for one day in Pittsburgh, and then the next day snowed five inches. Right. But that one day was enough for her allergies to flare. So her poor eyes are like, and I am so sensitive to eyeball things. Like, my mom would hate it. I would be watching Surgeries TV, eating pasta, and it looks like I'm eating what they're my mom be like, It's not gross. That doesn't bother me. I cannot watch them put in a contact lens. I just don't do eyeballs. So the fact that her eyeballs are so sensitive and if you're like all of the things I was having a really hard time last night and with the Mom Guild of like, okay, I haven't been able to tend to her as much because I have a human baby now and all these things. Right. So when I got out of the bathtub with human baby, I noticed the Heat's not on. So we have the app on our phone. And so instead of taking that breath and yes. And like, okay, I'm feeling like I'm not doing enough for our various babies. Right. And I need some support right now. I opened up the door when I felt how cold it was because babies are shivering. I snapped at my husband and just said, Why did you turn the heat off? Because I knew I turned it on the way in, not realizing that because around that time, we're usually already in bed, that I usually set it down so that way it doesn't get you hot upstairs. So it just because it's more it auto changed it, even though I just set it to be warmer in the bathtub. So that being said, I was then Ping pong shit towards my husband, who's just literally on the couch trying to enjoy FaceTime with the sister, you know? And I'm just like, you know. And so then when I apologize after, I was like, I'm going to do better. And he was so right in saying, but will you be able to, knowing that there have been multiple incidences in my transition into Parenthood where I'm just trying to do the very best to keep a human alive, that I don't have as much bandwidth to be able to notice when things are building up? So even how I'm yet and how I'm providing is shifting. And that was a really helpful way for me to check in and say, oh, okay. All of these practices have really been segmented into caregiving. And also not having the bandwidth to have it be more universalized, which is something that needs to happen, is going to be the least problematic throughout the whole household, not just in the one to one relationship that I have with my baby. Right. So, yeah, it's definitely something that I think helps. There be room for Grace, too, right? This is such a good story. I feel like this is just so relatable that question that your husband asked. Will you be able to and I could tell that it was coming from this really lovely invitation place right now. Well, I need you to be perfect. Right. But more of what's your capacity like right now. And that's such a good conversation, too. Like, really realizing not only our capacity to do, but our capacity to be. How present can we be? And I really appreciate that you brought up whiteness and systemic issues and just the world that we live in and how that all interconnects and how our experiences are impacted by those things. And those things, too, can impact our capacity on an individual scale and how we interact with the world. And just hearing you talk about this, I'm thinking, too, of what does it mean to look at our capacity for being present in the moment? Because there's definitely days like today. I'm in a pretty good mood. It's really a cozy morning here, and I'm digging the weather and everything seems to be like, okay, there's no big emergencies. The dog and the cat aren't fighting. And so I feel like I have a little bit more energy to be extra present. Like, when I was talking with some of my business friends this morning on Boxer, I really felt like I was able to really show up and support them in a deeper way because I'm just in this space. But then there are other days where friends or family or whatever will share stuff, and I just don't feel like I'm being as good as an insert, whatever, like wife, friend, daughter, whatever. But it's holding space for that and realizing those things don't have to look the same every day, but also communicating and sharing that out to people, like, really expressing our capacity, I think, is so important. And it sounds like that's what you're doing in your household also as being like, oh, well, this is a new chapter of my life. This is new. Like, I have this little human. She's taking up a lot of my time. But yeah, I'll kind of just toss that back to you. But I think it's just really interesting that we don't always take our capacity into account, too. Yeah. No, I'm so glad you brought that up, because again, when I was doing this before, I had the language to know I was doing this necessarily. But going back to working with kiddos, I would share with them. I'd say, okay, this story has about 12% to give today, and I want to give 100% of that 12%. So how can we split that up? Right. So we're supposed to be going and looking at job application view, because I've been working with children since I was ten, which is like way too early be babysitting. But that's life, right? And so I'm 31 now. So literally two thirds of my life I worked with children in some fashion, but at this point, I was working with teenagers. And so I'd be like, we're supposed to air quote, supposed to be looking at job applications, but what's really happening? Do you have the mental space? What do you really need? Right. And so that's that moment of youth bringing me down, they're providing me with queues on what their capacity is, and then I'm improvising what we do with that then. And so again, like, that was happening and it was so helpful for me and those interactions with the parts of my job that I always loved. So now that I'm at my role shift and I don't work directly with youth, that's why it can be so hard to have a day job that's in a different function that isn't communal. Right. It's very much like doing all of the writing and the sort of restructuring of things. And so it's very mentally draining because it's not in that relational way. But to get back to the point, it was such a helpful practice that just sort of came to be right. Because then I was able to say, not just in work setting, if I'm waking up, I'm like, I feel like I have 27% of my tank is full today. How would it feel best to apply that 12%? Wait, that was early number 27. And you don't even see it right now. I'm not 100%. But then actually ask myself, do I even want to go down to 0% today? What reserve do I want left by the end of my day? And I often still have this type of conversation with myself and say, like,

okay, it's like 03:

00 p.m. Now feeling myself on fumes. I need some kind of energy shift. What offers me the little boost? And then what will I need to be able to do after that? Right? So, okay, baby has been sleeping a while. She probably going to wake up and look at me with their cute little grin and then be like, I'm ready to go. So what do I need to do for myself these next five minutes while she's still sleeping on me to then be able to be ready for go time. Right? And so that type of practice has been really humanizing for me because it's reminding me like, I'm not a coded robot that's just, okay, here you have this shelf life. Okay? Go dock somewhere to charge up for this. Trying to operate from that way, which I did for so much of my life, just trying to survive not only felt so shitty, but it just didn't work. Right. Not saying that anything, let me share means that those things don't happen. But it's just again, having access to that other choice can feel so much better, even if it ends up afterwards. You're like, oh, I don't necessarily like how that went, but it's just the access to a choice that feels like there's like, a choice you want to make is how I always say it. Like, not just any choice. Right? Because that's how we get sort of like, systems appease us. Right? Oh, well, you technically have a choice. Okay. But is it a choice that actually supports me that I actually want to make that makes a difference? Or is this just you saying, like, oh, you can file zero one on your taxes? Like, something was like, okay, cute, cool. But also, what's the fucking point? I'm just thinking, so many good sound bites. I want to come back to Journal on and think about you said something that really sparked an AHA moment in me, and that was, Do I want to be at 0% at the end of the day? Because that's something I often have to catch myself on. It's like, we'll get in bed and my head hits the pillow and I'm like, that is it? And then if Bella needs to go out again or whatever, I'm just like, oh, I get so frustrated. Like, I can't believe I have no. I wonder in those moments, do you feel like you're in control mode? Speaking back earlier about control versus connection, right? Yeah, it's definitely no. It's like a reactionary feeling. It's like, oh, this is happening to me. I know that because sleep is my biggest. Like, I am a Goblin when I'm actually already asleep. If I'm just tired in general, my capacity, just like, I can survive on fumes longer than I should. But if I've already fallen asleep and then something comes up, that is my greatest challenge in life is not being in control mode. So that's why I asked that, because that's my experience with it. If it's already cued in my body or my mind that I should be sleeping and something happens, I'm like, Why? Not a reason why, for sure. That's definitely my biggest anger trigger, too. And I have to really catch myself and be like, okay, we can breathe through this. But just that reminder that you shared of where do we want to be at the end of the day? And kind of creating those pulse points or those check ins throughout the day? Like, oh, I can notice that.

Oh, it's only 10:

00 A.m., and I've already done a ton of stuff. Or I've already been on a Zoom call most of the morning and I feel myself getting frustrated or resentful or things are bothering me. For me, it's always noticing, like, I'm very introverted. But if I go outside and just like, the people being around me at all, I'm like, that irritates me. That's always a sign. They're like, okay, I don't have my own grocery store, right? Other than another existing person that's in my space, right? So that's always a sign. Okay. If everyone is doing something, quote, unquote, wrong and annoying you, it's probably you it's probably not everyone else. They're blinking off beat gosh. So it's really noticing these moments where our capacity is being limited. And then it's also okay to have lesser capacity days. It's okay. You don't always have to be at 100% or have your tank completely full. And that's also not sustainable, right? Like, we can't expect ourselves to be in that place all the time. So it's like, how can we kind of create a flow state of like, okay, I have lower energy today. That's okay. How can I nourish this. Yes. And this. Yeah. And to even go back to something you shared earlier about how. Yes. And feels like there's suddenly the next step of how can I integrate this? How can I practice this? How can shift happen? It's something that I use when I'm working with people, and a skill set or a tool that I offer is something that I call on ramps and off ramps. So for me, on ramps are practices that help me increase my access to energy if I need to do certain tasks and I don't have it. But that needs to happen. So on ramps for me can be dancing, rewatching a funny dog video, thinking about a time that I fell down the stairs and then laughing myself. And then my neighbors like, EW, why is she laughing? Whatever, just for me ends up getting me in a giddy state where that I want to be dancing in my seat. Something like that, to me, is an honor because it's this idea that so much of my life I've been an underpass where I see people on the highway and they're, like, driving like, oh, that's cute. It's almost like that feeling. I don't know if anyone's ever tried to jump into a double Dutch and you're like, waiting for the timing of the ropes, right? And you're just like, okay, you're doing that rocking. Like, maybe now. Maybe now. Oh, no shit, no. I remember when hit my ankle last time, that hurts. So it's that sensation of like, oh, it would be so nice to be up there where I'm perceiving everyone's functioning, right. Not realizing everyone's up there in their hoopies anyways. And we're all sputtering. Right. But like, that feeling of, why can't I also do that? And so I realized that it was like, especially for more mundane. Like, my daytime type job is like checking emails and things like one. That's not where my energy is best going. That's not my creative spot. Right. That's not my zone of genius. So expecting myself to perform like it is is just not the thing. But I needed an on ramp because those things had to be done if I was going to keep my income to pay for any kind of bills to eat crackers. It's not a lavish life that even striving to get to, right? It's just bare minimum. And having executive dysfunction, in particular with ADHD so much how can I get there, right? So on ramp is what helps us increase our access to energy. And it's the idea that almost like, how can I be going up that ramp and then catch air, knowing that when I level out, I'll be at the energy level I need to sustain that task or that practice. Right. It's not about creating a false high. It's like, how can I just have enough, like, serotonin my body to get started, especially with the executive dysfunction? And then offramps is when something like this where I'm having so much fun with Sarah. But I know afterwards that I'll be buzzing and still want to keep that high enough to say, oh, yeah, that isn't sustainable. And that's what leads to exhaustion. So an offer in practice, it can be the same thing. It can be dancing, it can be listening something. But the reason I'm doing it and how I know that there's an enoughness in my body is different. So sometimes my off ramp is brushing my teeth, right. It's cleansing my palate for me. I'm like a very tasty, like, my name is in Calories. They're calories, right. I'm a very food centric, calorically motivated person. So freshening. My palate is something that's an offramp for me because I'm like, okay, that residue in my mouth is gone. What's next, right? It could be reading. I mean, this was before a human baby reading a book. Like, touching paper, right? Like, I don't do an actual just throw it everywhere. And one thing I was like, we can throw other things, but not my books, please. But having, like, a physical Journal there. I always have sunny breaks, always meaning the four days a year the sun is out of Pittsburgh where I just go outside and then seeing sunny breaks to celebrate and then do this just obnoxious dance, not caring who sees. Right. Like, that can be an on or an off ramp for me. Again, it's the acknowledging, like, oh, I need something to boost me up, or I need to be getting off of something that's not mine. And so to me, that is, like, the most supportive way that is and is on ramps and off ramps. And that really felt like that wanted to be shared. Because, again, that's the piece of how can my body be involved? How can my spirit be involved? Right? Because sometimes, yes. And can become performative when we're doing in our head, it's like, oh, I know that there's a way I can use this for me, the ramps is part of sharing that dialogue, passing the microphone from my head to my body. I love that. Yeah. I feel like we could talk all day. This is such a lovely conversation. I just feel so nourished from listening to this. And I can't wait to listen back. And I wish we could keep talking forever, but I would love for you to share. I know you're also working on this amazing course which I am so honored to be able to be getting early access to and I've been loving it and it's been really helping me step into all these different practices within providing. So thank you for your work. Thank you. Yeah. But I would love for you to share like how people can access more of your resources where they can find you. Yeah, definitely. So on the Instagram, I'm available at improvide, Im providew and from there in my links tree bio link. There's other things there too. But you can also find me on the improvisinglifepodcast and on Member vault it would be how does member vault do? Like improvising member vault or VIP member vault? I make sure it's yeah, we'll have all the links for that and my website is I'd say a week or two away from existing. That again was just a helpful practice for me to just have an energetic container. So that way, especially people are coming from this more from an organizational perspective, have a place to just go. And so that way I don't have to feel like I have to again put out all this energy of coordinating things. I can just use a website so that will be live at some point and will also be accessible through my Instagram. Wonderful. Thank you for being here and for sharing all this and for everyone listening, please check out Lori's podcast and everything. It's almost like its own little mini course, the way you walk through all the different tools. So definitely worth listening to that. But thank you so much for being here and thank you for sharing all of your wisdom and all of your life experience. It's so, so helpful. Thank you. Hope you all have a restful dazzle day and if not, you can put an F on front and have a fascination day. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the Mindful Mindful productivity podcast. Always you can find show notes, links to everything we mentioned and a complete transcript of this week's episode by going over to Mindful Productivity blog.com. As always, we'll have a brand new episode for you right back here next Monday. Thank you so much for listening and have a great week ahead.